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{"source_url": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com", "url": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/2020/01/01/frumpy-middle-aged-mom-my-housekeeper-is-worth-more-to-me-than-gold/", "title": "Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: My housekeeper is worth more to me than gold", "top_image": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Mama-bear-ILLUS-16x9-1-1.jpg?w=1024&h=575", "meta_img": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Mama-bear-ILLUS-16x9-1-1.jpg?w=1024&h=575", "images": ["https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/whittier_daily_news_black-509x71.svg", "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Mama-bear-ILLUS-16x9-1-1.jpg?w=1024&h=575", "https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/8041c4592923e89aa214790b5081fa75?s=85&d=mm&r=g", "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/mu-plugins/jetpack/modules/sharedaddy/images/loading.gif"], "movies": [], "text": "This is without a doubt my favorite day that rolls around every two weeks, and I\u2019m not talking about payday (though that\u2019s up there pretty high as well.) Today is the day that my housekeeper comes to rescue me from my own sloth, and I never get tired of it, or bored by repetition, even though it occurs every two weeks. (I\u2019m calling her Ronda but that\u2019s not her real name.) Author Erma Bombeck once said that cleaning your house while the kids were still growing is like sweeping your porch while it\u2019s still snowing and I think that\u2019s true, but I still look forward to it.\n\nHere are the happy stages of \u201cRonda The Housekeeper Day:\u201d\n\nStage One\n\nGo to the ATM and get some cash, because my kids always suck up any excess I have lying around. I pay Ronda around $20 an hour, which I think is fair for five hours of manual labor cleaning my toilet and mopping my floors. Occasionally, someone will act surprised at this, and insist they can get me someone cheaper. \u201cGee, I know someone who will clean your whole house for $30!\u201d Well, here\u2019s the thing: I\u2019m not interested in exploiting people just because they\u2019re desperate and will work for less. Ronda came to this country from Guatemala (She\u2019s in this country legally now so don\u2019t send me any hate mail, thank you) as a mom deserted by her abusive, alcoholic husband. She left her boys with her mother and came up here to find a job to support them. At first, she told me, she worked for room and board only, which in my mind sounds an awful lot like slavery. Not the only time I\u2019ve heard that kind of story, by the way. I pay her what I think is fair, and if you bargain your cleaning lady down to get her to scrub your floors for less, I probably wouldn\u2019t like you.\n\nStage Two\n\nScurry around and put away anything that I think might get misplaced. Two women putting things away in the same kitchen is never a good thing. I spend a lot of time pacing and thinking, \u201cDang, where would she have put the measuring cups?\u201d It\u2019s just easier to put them away before she gets here. I usually throw a load of towels in the washer to give her a head start, since she does our linens. Sometimes I\u2019ll wipe up the dog vomit or something else that\u2019s particularly disgusting, though I\u2019m not one of those people who cleans the house before the housekeeper arrives. I\u2019ve always been a little confused by that concept. I know there are a lot of you out there, so please explain it to me.\n\nStage Three\n\nGreet Ronda when she arrives, then vamoose as quickly as possible. I don\u2019t want to be around while she\u2019s cleaning for two reasons. First, because I can tell I\u2019m getting in her way, though she would never say so. The second and more important reason is that I feel guilty. I feel vaguely ashamed that I\u2019m making someone else clean the gunk out of my bathroom sink, even though I know she wants and needs the work.\n\nBest-selling author Barbara Ehrenreich wrote a piece for Harper\u2019s magazine back in 2000 called \u201cMaid to Order: The politics of other women\u2019s work\u201d that I could never get completely out of my head. She went to work as a employee of one of those corporate housekeeping companies for the experience, so she could write about it from an informed perspective.\n\nShe wrote that people like to hire cleaning services, because they needn\u2019t have a relationship with one person and watch her scrub their bathtub. Seriously, do you really think those maids are merry? Because I\u2019m pretty sure they\u2019re not. Some people also worry about theft, though I\u2019ve never had a problem. One of my former housekeepers, who fled the death squads in El Salvador, had been a college professor there, and the only problem I had with her was letting her finish her work, because she was so interesting I always just wanted to talk. My mother was a neat freak who grew up an orphan in Texas, where in those days the difference between \u201cwhite trash\u201d and respectable folk was how clean they kept their houses. My mom could never abide the fact that her daughter was clearly trash.\n\nStage Four\n\nCome home to a sparkling, lemon-scented house with freshly folded towels and clean sheets, enjoying an hour of pure bliss after walking through the door. At this point, I might think about how I really can\u2019t afford a housekeeper, and wonder which kid I should get rid of so I can continue to hire her services.\n\nStage Five\n\nIt\u2019s been 24 hours since Ronda was here, and I\u2019m wondering how my house could possibly look so trashed. I also wonder why my son needs five towels for one shower and why he can\u2019t pick them up off the floor. There\u2019s nothing to be done but pine for her next visit. Ronda, please come back!", "keywords": [], "meta_keywords": [""], "tags": ["Frumpy Middle-Aged Mom"], "authors": ["Marla Jo Fisher", "Marla Jo Fisher Was A Workaholic Hard News Reporter Before She Adopted Two Children Foster Care At Age", "Picked Up A Scruffy Dog Along The Way", "Somehow Managed To Keep Them All Alive", "At Least So Far. She Now Writes The Frumpy Middle-Age Mom Humor Column That Appears In The Orange County Register Weekly. Due To Her Status As The Cheapest Person Alive", "She Also Writes About Deals", "Bargains For The Register", "Including Her Cheapo Travel Column Which Also Runs In Newspapers Around The Country. When She'S Not Having A Nervous Breakdown", "She'S Usually Traveling Somewhere Cheaply", "Writing About It."], "publish_date": "Wed Jan 1 00:00:00 2020", "summary": "", "article_html": "", "meta_description": "", "meta_lang": "en", "meta_favicon": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/whittier-daily-news-icon.png?w=32", "meta_data": {"application-name": "whittierdailynews", "viewport": "width=device-width, initial-scale=1", "msvalidate.01": "4B535F7EB2971D1FCBA5D1D3E3E292C3", "generator": "WordPress 5.3.2", "wp-parsely_version": "1.14", "fb": {"pages": 90085377646}, "og": {"type": "article", "title": "Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: My housekeeper is worth more to me than gold", "url": "http://www.ocregister.com/frumpy-middle-aged-mom-my-housekeeper-is-worth-more-to-me-than-gold", "description": "The day that she visits every two weeks is life-changing.", "site_name": "Whittier Daily News", "image": {"identifier": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Mama-bear-ILLUS-16x9-1-1.jpg?w=1024&h=575", "width": 1024, "height": 575}, "locale": "en_US"}, "article": {"published_time": "2020-01-01T15:17:27+00:00", "modified_time": "2020-01-01T15:18:02+00:00"}, "twitter": {"text": {"title": "Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: My housekeeper is worth more to me than gold"}, "image": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Mama-bear-ILLUS-16x9-1-1.jpg?w=640", "card": "summary_large_image"}, "msapplication-TileImage": "https://www.whittierdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/whittier-daily-news-icon.png?w=38"}, "canonical_link": "http://www.ocregister.com/frumpy-middle-aged-mom-my-housekeeper-is-worth-more-to-me-than-gold"} |