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{"source_url": "https://www.latimes.com", "url": "https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2019-12-30/when-do-you-reveal-your-legal-status-love-in-the-time-of-daca", "title": "Love in the time of DACA", "top_image": "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/bd345ad/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x2662+0+397/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "meta_img": "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/bd345ad/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x2662+0+397/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "images": ["https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/bd345ad/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x2662+0+397/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/0e/c6/b86a8b4b43a793259deb28a32a56/latlogoinverse.svg", "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/7555d89/2147483647/strip/true/crop/6123x4047+0+0/resize/840x555!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F5d%2F58%2Fa1446dc643c19c288ca57b426c18%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca4-mam.jpg", "data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==", "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/fd3111d/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1125x1125+438+0/resize/100x100!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fe1%2F63%2F6aeef7872f373ce8003a34b425cc%2Fimg-5361b2dd-turbine-la-bio-cindy-carcamo", "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/b9/f5/1c9278c94a439e28f5150c679d6f/logo-full-black.svg", "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/8ef0180/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x3456+0+0/resize/840x573!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/c853b7e/2147483647/strip/true/crop/6350x4233+0+0/resize/840x560!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F06%2F9d%2Fae9229a34727b33d3098480c60fc%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca2-mam.jpg"], "movies": [], "text": "Maria Lopez spotted him at a bachata class. He checked off all her boxes. Superb dancer. Smart \u2014 he had an engineering degree. Tall, dark and handsome.\n\nAfter a month of dating, he revealed he was in the country illegally. She too lacked legal status, though she had the relative protection of being in the Obama-era Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program.\n\nWordlessly, they pumped the brakes on their relationship.\n\nBeing without legal status under the umbrella of DACA has always been a risky proposition. Deportation always lurked in the background.\n\nAdvertisement\n\nBut now that the program is under threat from an unfriendly White House \u2014 and currently at the mercy of a conservative-leaning U.S. Supreme Court \u2014 life for its beneficiaries has become cloudier.\n\nIn May, Lopez, a 25-year-old San Jose resident, launched an Instagram account called YTienePapeles? (AndDoesHeHavePapers?)\n\nThe page is her attempt \u201cto heal through humor,\u201d she said. Sometimes she\u2019ll create memes about crushing on people without legal status. One post pictured a crying toddler next to text that read: \u201cWhen you find out your crush no tiene papeles.\u201d Other times she\u2019ll post syrupy sayings: \u201cUnlike DACA, my love for you is permanent.\u201d\n\nThe memes are relatable, Lopez said. \u201cIf you are undocumented and in the dating scene, you will definitely encounter this.\u201d\n\nAdvertisement\n\nRelationships can provide a sense of security and comfort, but the uncertainty of DACA\u2019s future can leave so-called Dreamers feeling just a bit more unsettled about the pursuit of them, said Harvard sociologist Roberto Gonzales.\n\n\u201cIn our research, we\u2019ve seen DACA beneficiaries victimized by partners who use their fragile status and their families\u2019 status against them,\u201d Gonzales said.\n\n\u201cLives in Limbo: Undocumented and Coming of Age in America,\u201d Gonzales\u2019 book based on a 12-year project following 150 young people around the L.A. area, found that immigrants often felt their legal status could drive wedges into relationships.\n\nLopez, for example, had begun dating one young man in 2011 \u2014 a year before she joined the DACA program. He was the son of immigrants, Lopez said, who had legalized their status in the U.S.\n\nAfter six years, around the time that President Trump announced his intention to wind down DACA, their relationship soured. Lopez said she did not expect to get married right away, but wanted to know if it was in the couple\u2019s future. When she pressed her boyfriend, Lopez said, he asked: \u201cIs citizenship the reason you want to be with me?\u201d\n\nAnd that was that.\n\nSaid Andrea Simon-Martinez, a 26-year-old DACA recipient who lives in New York: \u201cTelling someone you\u2019re undocumented, it\u2019s like peeling off a Band-Aid, you want to do it sooner rather than later.\u201d\n\nSimon-Martinez was born in Mexico and was 6 years old when she overstayed her tourist visa. She said dating and looking for a serious partner takes a toll. In February 2018, she wrote a post about the anxiety of dating while \u201cDACA-mented.\u201d\n\nAdvertisement\n\n\u201cI never know when to bring it up in conversations, and then it makes me feel like I\u2019m leading them on,\u201d she wrote. \u201cIt makes me feel like I\u2019m being deceitful and keeping a big part of me hidden away.\u201d\n\nJuan Pacheco Marcial, a 23-year-old DACA recipient who attends Cal State Monterey Bay, said his legal status keeps him from dating seriously. He makes sure not to get too attached because of a feeling in his gut that, one day, he will be deported. And he won\u2019t date another DACA recipient or person without legal status.\n\n\u201cWhen I date someone, I don\u2019t see a future with them because I don\u2019t even see a future for myself,\u201d he said. \u201cOf ... having a happy ending here in the United States.\u201d\n\nMarcial said he does not want children because of the cloud over his presence in the country. He said it\u2019s the reason he broke up with a girlfriend who was a citizen.\n\n\u201cI feel that I wouldn\u2019t be able to live with myself if I were to have a child and I were, for some reason, to get kicked out of this country and not be able to come back,\u201d he said.\n\nJose Guevara-Johnson, left, and his husband, Stephen Guevara-Johnson, have breakfast at Antigua Bread in Los Angeles. (Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Times)\n\n\u201cWe\u2019ve been through a really hard thing that most couples have not gone through at our age and made it out successfully,\u201d Stephen Guevara-Johnson said. (Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Times)\n\nA year ago, Jose Guevara, 25, and Stephen Johnson, 29, got married.\n\nAdvertisement\n\nGuevara is a DACA recipient who was brought to the U.S. from El Salvador at age 10. Johnson was born and raised in a conservative Baptist family in North Carolina.\n\nThey met online two years ago. Guevara said he was upfront from the start \u2014 laying out his \u201cbaggage.\u201d\n\n\u201cI have cancer and I\u2019m a DACA recipient,\u201d he revealed.\n\nJohnson, whose work involves community organizing, said it didn\u2019t bother him. After a couple of months of dating, Guevara was hospitalized and underwent treatment for leukemia \u2014 which he\u2019s battled off and on since he was 15.\n\nThe possible end of DACA worried the couple. Guevara feared returning to El Salvador, partly because homophobia is prevalent there. But he felt he was becoming a burden to Johnson, who wanted to marry.\n\n\u201cIt\u2019s a lot of labor to love someone who is a DACA recipient,\u201d Guevara said. \u201cWe are at the will of the government.\u201d\n\nBut Johnson was determined.\n\n\u201cWe\u2019ve been through a really hard thing that most couples have not gone through at our age and made it out successfully,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cIf we can make it through that, we can make it through anything.\u201d\n\nThey are now legally the Guevara-Johnsons.\n\nIn San Francisco, Tony K. Choi said he would like to be able to love and date on his own terms.\n\nA DACA recipient who is a creative writer for Democratic presidential candidate Tom Steyer, Choi said his legal status is always part of the life calculations he makes.\n\n\u201cMarriage and immigration status are intrinsically linked to my romantic life,\u201d the 31-year-old said.\n\nChoi, who came to the U.S. from South Korea on a tourist visa at age 9, realizes marriage to a U.S. citizen is probably his best option for staying in the country, but he\u2019s \u201cincredibly millennial\u201d and not looking to wed anytime soon.\n\nStill, he said, he avoids dating DACA recipients or men who are in the country illegally. He had a crush on a man without legal status, but he willed himself to make a cold calculation.\n\n\u201cWhat is there to gain from this relationship?\u201d Choi said.\n\nSome DACA recipients said they\u2019ve received marriage proposals from close friends who want to help. Others feel pressure from parents, other family members or older immigrants who repeatedly tell them to fall in love and marry someone who has legal status.\n\nLopez still remembers how, when she was 6, her grandmother sat her down and told her: \u201cYou have to marry someone with papers.\u201d\n\n\u201cAt 6, you don\u2019t even know what that means,\u201d Lopez said.\n\nA few weeks ago, she posted a meme on Instagram with a picture of a distraught and teary-eyed SpongeBob SquarePants surrounded with bursting red hearts. The text read: \u201cWhen you gotta end [it] with your favorite undocu-novio.\u201d\n\n", "keywords": [], "meta_keywords": [""], "tags": ["Things to Do"], "authors": ["Staff Writer", "Cindy Carcamo Covers Immigration Issues For The Los Angeles Times. Previously", "She Was Arizona Bureau Chief", "A National Correspondent For The Times", "Focusing On Border", "Immigration Issues In The Southwest. A Los Angeles Native", "She Has Reported In Argentina", "Mexico During Her Time As An Inter American Press Assn. Scholar", "As A Reporter For The Orange County Register. She S Also Reported Guatemala", "Honduras Where Her Coverage Was Part Of A Team Overseas Press Club Award. She Is Also The Recipient Of The French-American Foundation S Immigration Journalism Award"], "publish_date": "Mon Dec 30 00:00:00 2019", "summary": "", "article_html": "", "meta_description": "As the uncertainty of DACA\u2019s future has had an ill effect on this group\u2019s sense of safety, security and long-term future in the U.S., it also significantly impacts one of most intimate facets of their lives: romantic relationships. Dating for people whose legal status is at best, precarious, can be fraught with anxieties and insecurities.", "meta_lang": "en", "meta_favicon": "/apple-touch-icon.png", "meta_data": {"og": {"title": "Love in the time of DACA", "url": "https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2019-12-30/when-do-you-reveal-your-legal-status-love-in-the-time-of-daca", "image": {"identifier": "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/bd345ad/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x2662+0+397/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "url": "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/bd345ad/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x2662+0+397/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "width": 1200, "height": 630, "type": "image/jpeg", "alt": "474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-DACA1-MAM.jpg"}, "description": "Dating for people whose legal status is at best precarious can be fraught with anxiety and insecurity.", "site_name": "Los Angeles Times", "type": "article"}, "article": {"author": "https://www.latimes.com/staff/cindy-carcamo", "content_tier": "metered", "published_time": "2019-12-30T12:00:15.018", "opinion": "false", "section": "California"}, "twitter": {"card": "summary_large_image", "creator": "@thecindycarcamo", "description": "Dating for people whose legal status is at best precarious can be fraught with anxiety and insecurity.", "image": {"identifier": "https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/cbc8665/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5070x2852+0+302/resize/1200x675!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F97%2Fff%2F5322a0ee4350a8ebf6149fa28353%2Fla-photos-1staff-474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-daca1-mam.jpg", "alt": "474665-la-me-dating-and-love-on-DACA1-MAM.jpg"}, "site": "@latimes", "title": "Love in the time of DACA"}, "fb": {"app_id": 119932621434123, "pages": 5863113009, "profile_id": "latimes"}, "viewport": "width=device-width, initial-scale=1, maximum-scale=5", "description": "As the uncertainty of DACA\u2019s future has had an ill effect on this group\u2019s sense of safety, security and long-term future in the U.S., it also significantly impacts one of most intimate facets of their lives: romantic relationships. 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