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{"source_url": "https://www.theguardian.com", "url": "https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jan/01/how-to-have-more-fun-in-2020", "title": "The joy audit: how to have more fun in 2020", "top_image": "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/06dabb5757bd783ae8707a3ee95005f4fd73fe9b/0_485_1949_1169/master/1949.jpg?width=1200&height=630&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&overlay-align=bottom%2Cleft&overlay-width=100p&overlay-base64=L2ltZy9zdGF0aWMvb3ZlcmxheXMvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&enable=upscale&s=9db0ba9952b81d28ccce6bbe1d64eacc", "meta_img": "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/06dabb5757bd783ae8707a3ee95005f4fd73fe9b/0_485_1949_1169/master/1949.jpg?width=1200&height=630&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&overlay-align=bottom%2Cleft&overlay-width=100p&overlay-base64=L2ltZy9zdGF0aWMvb3ZlcmxheXMvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&enable=upscale&s=9db0ba9952b81d28ccce6bbe1d64eacc", "images": ["https://phar.gu-web.net/count/pvg.gif", "https://phar.gu-web.net/count/pv.gif", "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/uploads/2019/09/03/Elle_Hunt,_L.png?width=300&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=2402ba5a4d73a4a175942a401662daa5", "https://sb.scorecardresearch.com/p?c1=2&c2=6035250&cv=2.0&cj=1&comscorekw=Health+%26+wellbeing%2CPsychology%2CScience%2CLife+and+style", "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/e0be42ac8eed492a57905f0bf2b51b3bed98742b/0_0_1181_1264/master/1181.jpg?width=300&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=3080ce53d96c15a0754319876ea385c4", "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/06dabb5757bd783ae8707a3ee95005f4fd73fe9b/0_485_1949_1169/master/1949.jpg?width=1200&height=630&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&overlay-align=bottom%2Cleft&overlay-width=100p&overlay-base64=L2ltZy9zdGF0aWMvb3ZlcmxheXMvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&enable=upscale&s=9db0ba9952b81d28ccce6bbe1d64eacc", "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/d3f6913c1388e0b2c9b2c967dabe9b6c4b24cc79/0_0_1181_1264/master/1181.jpg?width=300&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=518f874aadff7200ec87cedf4984ecd7", "https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/06dabb5757bd783ae8707a3ee95005f4fd73fe9b/0_481_1949_1633/master/1949.jpg?width=300&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=7dca652bdb48be34f3c37ccfc091e589"], "movies": [], "text": "This is the year to start taking happiness seriously. But how \u2013 and where do you find the time? Here are the tips and advice you need for a pleasure-filled year\n\nThe last time I felt joy was at an event that would be many people\u2019s vision of hell: a drunken Taylor Swift club-night singalong in the early hours of the morning a few weekends ago.\n\nI certainly experience joy, either as peaks of euphoria or in quiet, unexpected bursts. But as I go about my everyday business \u2013 sprinting to meet deadlines, standing in front of the open fridge \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t say it looms large.\n\nI am not alone. Many of us treat joy like the good china, only warranted on special occasions. Even if we know it is within our reach, we may not see it is within our control.\n\nBut this is a mistake, according to happiness experts. Nataly Kogan, the author of Happier Now, says: \u201cHappiness and emotional health are not extras, or bonuses, or nice-to-haves \u2013 they\u2019re actually at the core of what helps us live well.\u201d\n\nSeeking joy may sound frivolous, but being happy has been shown to promote habits and behaviours that are important to our health. A 2017 study of roughly 7,000 adults found that those with positive wellbeing were more likely to be physically active and to eat fresh fruit and vegetables. Being happy has also been linked to better sleep, better weight management, lower stress levels, an improved immune system and even increased life expectancy.\n\nDespite the myriad benefits of joy \u2013 and the obvious incentive that it feels good \u2013 many of us don\u2019t prioritise it. But experts point out that our resources and energy are finite; what we put off will fall by the wayside. So, as with any goal, the first step to a joyful life is to make it a priority \u2013 which may mean you need to let go of other commitments \u2013 and then do the work. In other words, we need to start taking joy seriously.\n\nAs the founder and chief executive of the wellbeing business Happier, Kogan helps companies to improve their workplace culture and professionals to foster joy in their lives \u2013 lessons born out of her experience of career burnout and personal dissatisfaction in her late 30s. She likens herself at the time to a ship on the ocean \u2013 fine in favourable conditions, but at the mercy of any storm.\n\nNow 44 and based with her family in Boston, Massachusetts, Kogan says she has landed on practices and tools to harness happiness as a steady, sustainable presence in her daily life. The first of these is not to think of happiness as something to pursue at a later date, when your life is in order. \u201cI lived with this idea of: \u2018I\u2019ll be happy when ...\u2019 as I know so many people do,\u201d she says. \u201cWe have to look at emotional health as a skill, not a destination. And, as with any skill, when you practise, you do better.\u201d\n\nThe gains have been established in research into baseline happiness \u2013 what in psychological literature is called our \u201chedonic set point\u201d. It varies from person to person, but the key point is that our baseline is only half determined by genetics. \u201cThat means the other 50% is up to us,\u201d says Kogan. \u201cI think that is incredibly empowering.\u201d\n\nSo, what can we do to make 2020 a more joyful year?\n\nIdentify the problem\n\nFacebook Twitter Pinterest \u2018Draw a large circle, divide it into segments and label each to reflect a different area of life that you want to assess.\u2019 Illustration: Adam Higton/The Guardian\n\nStart by identifying where joy is most lacking. Sarah Waite, a London-based psychologist, suggests the \u201cwheel of life\u201d, a personal development exercise derived from the Buddhist theory of balance. Draw a large circle, divide it into eight or 10 segments and label each to reflect a different area of life that you want to assess.\n\nThere are templates online, typically along the lines of fun and recreation, physical environment, career, finances, personal growth, romance, family and friends, and health. Shade in each wedge to reflect your level of satisfaction.\n\nThe finished circle should be an overview of the areas of your life that you feel you have under control, and those that may need further attention. When it comes to deciding where to allocate resources, \u201cit\u2019s not necessarily the one you\u2019ve marked the lowest; it\u2019s the one you really value the most,\u201d says Waite. It may be that your job is not a priority for you, so it doesn\u2019t matter if it remains only two-thirds filled.\n\nThe goal is to get perspective and clarity. The brain has evolved to be much more sensitive to negatives than positives as, historically, it has been more important for us to be attuned to hazardous situations than satisfactory ones. This \u201cnegativity bias\u201d distorts our perspective, meaning it is hard to make a good decision under stress, says Kogan. \u201cPeople can focus on things that are not \u2018as they should be\u2019 \u2026 We all have our stories of why we are not happy, at work or otherwise.\u201d But small, practical steps taken to boost joy in one part of life can improve happiness across the board as momentum builds.\n\nThe big picture\n\nKogan\u2019s first tip is to start by writing a list of what you like about your job, no matter how small. \u201cBe specific, think broadly and don\u2019t judge your list as you write it.\u201d It doesn\u2019t matter what they are, or how many there are; the idea is to shift your mindset.\n\nKogan suggests making it a daily habit to note three small, highly specific things that you are grateful for every morning, perhaps before you reach for your phone. \u201cIt\u2019s not about pretending that nothing is wrong, it\u2019s about helping your brain to get out of that negativity spiral.\u201d\n\nJust three weeks of this consistent \u201cgratitude practice\u201d has been shown to establish new neuron connections facilitating optimism, with the effects lasting for six months. Mindfulness and self-compassion are similarly powerful, says Shamash Alidina, the author of Mindfulness for Dummies and the co-founder of the not-for-profit Museum of Happiness \u2013 and more attainable than people may think.\n\nMany equate mindfulness with clearing one\u2019s mind of thoughts entirely. This means they often give up out of frustration, says Alidina \u2013 but \u201cit\u2019s not about not thinking, it\u2019s about being aware\u201d. Spending just a few minutes noticing your thoughts pass you by like clouds, experimenting with what Alidina calls your \u201cflexibility of attention\u201d, can equip you to stop negative spirals before they start. \u201cPeople associate meditation with being calm or relaxed, but it\u2019s really just about not getting lost in your thoughts,\u201d he says.\n\nWhat does it all mean?\n\nFinding lasting happiness is also about what we do, particularly what we do for others. Kogan says it is important to have a sense of purpose \u2013 to find what she calls \u201cthe bigger why\u201d among our deadlines and meetings. \u201cIt\u2019s not possible to be a happy human being if you don\u2019t feel like what you\u2019re doing is meaningful,\u201d she says.\n\nAssessing your to-do list \u2013 particularly tasks you find mundane or frustrating \u2013 through the lens of \u201cWho does this help?\u201d can increase motivation, lift your mood and improve your ability to manage stress, she says. \u201cWhen you say: \u2018This project is going to help a lot of people\u2019 \u2013 my team, customers, readers, whatever \u2013 your stress has context and you feel more resilient getting through it.\u201d\n\nHelping others may seem like a circular way of boosting your happiness, but Kogan says even small gestures, such as pulling out a chair for a colleague or checking in with them about their day, releases oxytocin in the giver and the receiver. Over time, it also fosters a sense of belonging at work and can lead to office friendships \u2013 one of the most common factors in job satisfaction.\n\nPlay is an effective mood\u2011booster that is often neglected in adulthood\n\nThe mindset shift encouraged by practising \u201cintentional kindness\u201d means it is worth doing for your own happiness, says Kogan. At 3pm every day, she receives a reminder to \u201cbe kind\u201d. Sometimes that is as simple as texting someone she hasn\u2019t spoken to in a while and telling them that she\u2019s thinking of them: \u201cI cannot tell you how much that means to people.\u201d\n\nFamily fortunes\n\nIt is well known that strong relationships are important to happiness, but what those look like \u2013 and how to forge them \u2013 can be ambiguous. \u201cHappiness can feel very abstract,\u201d says Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project. \u201cMy approach is to think about what you want, then break it up into manageable, concrete actions that you can actually take.\u201d\n\nIn terms of improving relationships, that might look like making a regular time to call or meet a friend, committing to attend a reunion or throw a party, or having a daily exchange with someone in public. Every five days or so, Rubin\u2019s family email each other an update on the \u201cboring everyday stuff\u201d of their lives, freed from any pressure to entertain or an expectation to reply. \u201cWe realised that, by staying in touch with the little minutiae, we would feel more connected \u2013 and it\u2019s absolutely working.\u201d\n\nMaking warm greetings and goodbyes habitual at home is another small but effective shift (\u201cI always think that I don\u2019t want to be less enthusiastic than my dog,\u201d says Rubin). Such low-level commitments are less daunting to start and easier to keep up \u2013 and they make a real impact. We all have different definitions of happiness, Rubin says, whether it be joy, peace, satisfaction, bliss. \u201cMy way of thinking about it is: today, next month, next year \u2013 are there things you can do to be happier?\u201d she says. \u201cAnd if there are, why not do them?\u201d\n\nHome truths\n\nIf Rubin comes across an improvement at home that she can make in less than a minute, she does it immediately. For her, \u201couter order contributes to inner calm\u201d, so happiness can be as simple as a clean kitchen bench or a decluttered shelf. \u201cIt feels trivial \u2013 and yet over and over people say: \u2018When I have control of my environment, I feel like I have control generally,\u2019\u201d says Rubin. \u201cLike making your bed every morning \u2013 it gives people a lift, more than really makes sense.\u201d\n\nOften this is understood as minimalism \u2013 but there are many happy, successful people who take pleasure in being surrounded by their possessions, says Rubin. It is not a moral failing to prefer abundance, and making your personal space reflect your values and interests \u201ccan be very pleasing\u201d.\n\nIngrid Fetell Lee, the author of The Aesthetics of Joy, agrees. \u201cWe\u2019ve been taught to think about our homes through the lens of other people: what\u2019s trendy, what the design books say,\u201d she says. As a result, many of us are out of touch with how our spaces measure on our own \u201cjoy meters\u201d. We may view a neutral grey palette as the height of sophistication when, in fact, what brings us pleasure is a neon front door.\n\nFacebook Twitter Pinterest \u2018Control is inextricable from exercise, sleep and good money management.\u2019 Illustration: Adam Higton/The Guardian\n\nEven the presence of different shapes can have an impact, with people finding angular objects more subconsciously anxiety-inducing than round ones. Rounded objects also tend to make environments more playful, says Lee: \u201cNot only because your mind is unconsciously set at ease, but because you\u2019re less worried about bumping into sharp edges.\u201d\n\nPlay is an effective mood-booster that is often neglected in adulthood. Rubin says she marks holidays such as Halloween and St Patrick\u2019s Day with themed meals, just because, while the Museum of Happiness\u2019s pop-up installations in London and Manchester later this month are testament to the transformative effects of a ballpit on otherwise sober adults.\n\nTo bring some of that spirit into your home, Lee advises trying to imagine you are visiting for the first time: \u201cNotice how it makes you feel, almost the physiological sensation in your body, as you move from room to room. What are the things that, when your eyes land on them, make you smile or feel drained?\u201d\n\nThe key is not to feel burdened by your possessions. \u201cOwning less means you are surrounding yourself with only your favourite things,\u201d says Joshua Becker, who writes the blog Becoming Minimalist. Being intentional with the things that we own \u2013 and, by extension, our money \u2013 means that our lives align with our values and passions: things that really matter to us. \u201cMinimalism removes distractions so that we can free up our money, time and energy on those things that bring us real joy in life,\u201d says Becker.\n\nEarly to bed\n\nPlay, gratitude and kindness may factor into a life full of joy, but so can discipline. A sense of control is more important to happiness than many people realise, says Rubin. Prosaically enough, this is inextricable from exercise, sleep and good money management. Too often, happiness is located solely in the moment, she says, when it could be achieved through giving up sugar or alcohol, or setting an alarm to go to bed on time. \u201cSometimes, to be happier in the long run, we have to ask more of ourselves or deprive ourselves of something,\u201d says Rubin. \u201cA happy life is not one that\u2019s focused only on the present.\u201d\n\nEmbracing boredom\n\nIn the same vein, putting off a difficult or boring task can detract from your daily experience more than getting stuck into it. Waite says she rolls her eyes at the framing of self-care as \u201cbaths and candles\u201d: \u201cI love those things, but if doing your tax return is really making you anxious, maybe the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to make a start.\u201d It may not be what is typically understood by joy, but sustainable, long-lasting happiness involves recognising that there are many shades on the emotional palette.\n\nResearch shows that occasionally accepting the presence of harder emotions means you experience them less intensely and for less time. In fact, the first step towards a joyful life may be letting go of your ideas of what that looks like \u2013 and recognising that it is down to you.\n\n\u201cPart of this exercise is to recognise that there isn\u2019t anything out there that is going to make you feel good 100% of the time,\u201d says Kogan. \u201cThat\u2019s actually great news, because when we let go of this particular idea of happiness we give ourselves more opportunities to be in alignment with our lives.\u201d", "keywords": [], "meta_keywords": ["Health & wellbeing", "Psychology", "Science", "Life and style"], "tags": [], "authors": ["Elle Hunt"], "publish_date": "Wed Jan 1 00:00:00 2020", "summary": "", "article_html": "", "meta_description": "This is the year to start taking happiness seriously. But how \u2013 and where do you find the time? 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