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{"source_url": "https://www.thestar.com", "url": "https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/advice/2020/01/01/amicable-divorce-turns-sour-when-it-comes-to-money-and-moving-out-ask-ellie.html", "title": "Amicable divorce turns sour when it comes to money and moving out: Ask Ellie", "top_image": "https://images.thestar.com/tH4hflJarLGOs6U-rKG4AMBWq84=/1200x800/smart/filters:cb(1577882145760)/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/life/relationships/advice/2020/01/01/amicable-divorce-turns-sour-when-it-comes-to-money-and-moving-out-ask-ellie/rl_ellie_12.jpg", "meta_img": "https://images.thestar.com/tH4hflJarLGOs6U-rKG4AMBWq84=/1200x800/smart/filters:cb(1577882145760)/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/life/relationships/advice/2020/01/01/amicable-divorce-turns-sour-when-it-comes-to-money-and-moving-out-ask-ellie/rl_ellie_12.jpg", "images": ["https://www.thestar.com/assets/svg/brandmark-thestar.svg", "https://t.co/i/adsct?txn_id=nuz9l&p_id=Twitter&tw_sale_amount=0&tw_order_quantity=0", "https://www.thestar.com/assets/svg/app-store.svg", "https://www.thestar.com/assets/svg/google-play.svg", "https://analytics.twitter.com/i/adsct?txn_id=nuz9l&p_id=Twitter&tw_sale_amount=0&tw_order_quantity=0", "https://images.thestar.com/tH4hflJarLGOs6U-rKG4AMBWq84=/1200x800/smart/filters:cb(1577882145760)/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/life/relationships/advice/2020/01/01/amicable-divorce-turns-sour-when-it-comes-to-money-and-moving-out-ask-ellie/rl_ellie_12.jpg", "https://www.thestar.com/assets/svg/logo-thestar.svg", "https://images.thestar.com/a8IEV9cRsUtYShkBtv5dbnVD7DM=/100x100/smart/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/columnist_logos/Tesher_Ellie_logo2015.JPG", "https://images.thestar.com/rtS77FsqakyOsj-1g6bx-5C5130=/1086x724/smart/filters:cb(1577882145760)/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/life/relationships/advice/2020/01/01/amicable-divorce-turns-sour-when-it-comes-to-money-and-moving-out-ask-ellie/rl_ellie_12.jpg", "https://b.scorecardresearch.com/p?c1=2&c2=3005674&cv=2.0&cj=1"], "movies": [], "text": "Q: I\u2019m a woman, age 36, who married a man from another country five years ago. I moved there and we bought a house together.\n\nBut we both found that we just weren\u2019t compatible. He\u2019s very laid-back; I\u2019m hyperactive by comparison.\n\nSince we had no children, we agreed to part in an amicable divorce.\n\nI decided to go home for a visit, and scout the chances for work.\n\nBy luck, I was offered a terrific job and decided to stay. But I\u2019d only brought one small suitcase along for the trip.\n\nWhen I informed my ex that I\u2019d like him to ship the rest of my things, and finalize splitting the proceeds from our house sale, his normally easygoing manner changed completely.\n\nHe became angry, said I\u2019d have to do my own packing and shipping which had nothing to do with him. He added that the money wasn\u2019t easily available.\n\nI\u2019m shocked at his meanness. Now I have to wait for my new job to allow early \u201cvacation time\u201d for me to travel overseas, retrieve my own things, and deal with this now-difficult ex about money that\u2019s rightfully mine.\n\nYOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN...\n\nHow can I manage everything in two weeks of so-called \u201cvacation\u201d time?\n\nDifficult Ex\n\nA: Start preparations now. Reach out to your contacts where you lived for five years, and ask them to refer you to a reliable shipping company. Get informed from that company as to what proof of ownership or other papers may be required.\n\nBut before addressing the money issue with your ex, try a non-combative phone conversation with him asking if there\u2019s anything you need to know about the house proceeds.\n\nThen, communicate with the lawyer involved in the sale, and have him/her or another lawyer inform your ex that you require your share to re-settle back home.\n\nHave as many conversations as possible to prepare yourself to be ready to proceed when you travel to complete the move.\n\nYOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN...\n\nInvite a local friend there to help you with the packing, especially if it\u2019s in the presence of your ex-husband.\n\nQ: I work in an open-concept office where my co-workers and I are respectful of each other\u2019s sound space. Most conversations on the phone or in person are kept to reasonable decibels.\n\nUnfortunately, we received a newcomer to our space who laughs like a hyena. I\u2019m not exaggerating. She\u2019ll say a name aloud, then laugh in hysterical bursts.\n\nGet some good advice in your inbox Get expert advice on life and relationships with the Star's Advice email newsletter. Sign Up Now\n\nIt\u2019s very annoying and interferes with my concentration. What do I do/say that won\u2019t be turned back on me as workplace harassment?\n\nEarplugs Not Enough\n\nA: Start with a plan of accommodation, rather than annoyance. She has an ingrained habit, you have a concentration problem.\n\nHers may be a nervous habit which gets exaggerated in new situation. Yours is a reaction. Neither of you are affecting or interfering with the other, on purpose.\n\nYou do have to be careful in a workplace atmosphere about how you proceed. Talk first to your supervisor who\u2019ll likely ask a human resources representative as to the best plan (if there is an HR department).\n\nBut if left on your own, speak to this co-worker aside from others, and gently tell her that her exuberant laugh is too loud for an open-concept workplace.\n\nAsk her to please try to tone it down. To show that you\u2019re demonstrating goodwill, you could say that you\u2019re willing to use earplugs when you need to concentrate more.\n\nIf she reacts badly, write a note detailing who said what, and then take it higher up.\n\nEllie\u2019s tip of the day\n\nAn \u201camicable\u201d divorce still requires being legally informed and aware of any financial complications.\n\nEXPERT ADVICE. IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up for the Star\u2019s advice newsletter, get the latest on relationships, etiquette and more.", "keywords": [], "meta_keywords": ["relationship advice", "dating advice", "sex", "marriage", "Ellie", "smg_advice", "smg2_life", "smg2_relationships", "topsection"], "tags": [], "authors": ["Https", "Www.Facebook.Com Pages Ellie-Tesher", "Advice Columnist"], "publish_date": "Wed Jan 1 00:00:00 2020", "summary": "", "article_html": "", "meta_description": "Before addressing the money issue with your ex, try a non-combative phone conversation with him asking if there\u2019s anything you need to know about the house proceeds, Ellie writes.", "meta_lang": "en", "meta_favicon": "/favicon-thestar.ico", "meta_data": {"viewport": "width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, maximum-scale=2.0, user-scalable=yes", "msapplication-TileColor": "#FFFFFF", "msapplication-TileImage": "/favicon-thestar-144.png", "msapplication-square70x70logo": "/favicon-thestar-70.png", "msapplication-square150x150logo": "/favicon-thestar-150.png", "msapplication-square310x310logo": "/favicon-thestar-310.png", "apple-itunes-app": "app-id=379481068", "apple-mobile-web-app-title": "thestar.com", "application-name": "thestar.com", "fb": {"pages": 134392236659479}, "storyuuid": "7b4bff6f-1221-4b0f-942c-95d956e739d1", "description": "Before addressing the money issue with your ex, try a non-combative phone conversation with him asking if there\u2019s anything you need to know about the house proceeds, Ellie writes.", "keywords": "relationship advice,dating advice,sex,marriage,Ellie,smg_advice,smg2_life,smg2_relationships,topsection", "news_keywords": "relationship advice,dating advice,sex,marriage,Ellie,smg_advice,smg2_life,smg2_relationships,topsection", "article": {"published": "2020-01-01", "modified": "2020-01-01", "section": "Advice", "publisher": "https://www.facebook.com/torontostar", "author": "https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ellie-Tesher/1449842385254273"}, 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