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U have to listen to this song "Signs" by the five man electrical band... the guy is just owning the fuck out of all these signs, it's insane |
surround alcatraz with Poison 2020 |
i have received in my life 2 Teen Choice Awards for the work i have done with poisons |
inbox full of people apologizing to me for their tweets. "Im Sorry Sir" "Ill Do Better Sir" i blow a shitload of cigar smoke onto the screen |
When they call Elvis "the king", i can only shake my head. As the only man I recognize as King is reformed pervert President Joseph R. Biden |
will e3 have designated crying booths. im sick of crying in the bathroom where people shit. |
i cant believe ive been chanting the words "epic Pee tape" in the mirror every morning for the past 4 years for nothing |
christ. just dreamt that dietpepsi of antileaks obtained the chaos element, came on to my online page & made a mess of my literature. my god |
middle-aged men have been retreating to the sewers of our fair city to cry. as mayor i will promise to eradicate these terrible crying men |
just because im following yiou on here doesn't mean im obligated to read your fucking posts, or like you, or marry you and be happy forever, |
im sorry but, when you people reply to my posts with things like "Fuck you" and "Fuck your Account" it makes me look like a real dumb ass |
if the pigs decimate my follower count tomorrow鈥毭劽琄now this. followers are just a number. devoid of meaning. and they can never take my Likes |
tokyo of nippon. the big apple. it is here i will forge my destiny selling printouts of my most Fucked Up posts. i sip off my beer cup & nod |
helping the police by yanking the doors off all the public bathroom stalls |
"Me and a lot of my friends are starting to think that this Covid-19 business is a complete goof. A rat job." - Spider man |
i was also goig to make a joke about how putting a dry rub on the vaccines makes them cause less autism but the science is still out on that |
a giant vat of slop in a secret factory has two pipes which lead to the bottling lines, one labeled "GAMER FUEL" and the other "BABY FOOD" |
if a $40000 check isnt made out to DigimonOtis in the next 3 hours, we WILL hack missouri's official state dog and change it to a dirty boot |
twittter posts a net loss of hundreds of millions of dollars each year just while i post highfalutin messages about my dick and ass |
much like they do with investments, professional ties, etc, journalists should be expected to disclose how Mad they are, |
the reason i dont address the trolls ib because i know that the truth would hurt them so much that they would probably take their own lives. |
Piss_089, noted pervert and imbecil,e made the ridiculous claim that i "love touching pieces of trash cans" & that my "gumline is fucked up" |