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DepressionDetection

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i m a year old girl who s been talking to a psychologist for the last few month i have social anxiety and she s been helping me a lot with how to deal with intrusive thought and seeing different scenario when i started talking to her i didn t realise that this wasn t going to be a forever thing during our last meeting she told me that i wa doing great and trying to put myself out there by doing my homework telling some really close friend i got anxiety after talking in front of the whole class and such but then she also said that what we re doing right now is like learning how to ride a bike and that it would soon be time to take off the training wheel we booked session for about five more week before the session ended she think i m ready but i really don t i ve been having so much anxiety about this situation because i ve really come to depend on talking to her every week it s been three day and ive been cry so much i really want to tell her i m not ready but then i ll also have to tell her that i always pretend i feel better than i actually do when talking to her there are so many thing i ve not talked about because i thought i had more time i really don t know what to do right know any help or advice would be appreciated cause this is causing me so much stress

n9ne x tgalloway rwtaylors a someone that ha suffered from depression and anxiety pretty much my whole life i can safely say lockdown made it a million time worse your comment is thoughtless and insensitive this lady lost her son your experience is not everyone else s grow up

let me explain if you have suicidal thought or behavior technically your not well mentally but if you do drug just time or just for experience it s not a big deal you won t be trapped down watched in a mental hospital taking medication or like abortion it s a woman s body and choice into abort a baby and we should respect their decision but what if a person is cutting or hurting themselves it s a problem even tho it s their decision into doing it but doctor and therapist say it s wrong and something is wrong with them mentally why

two of my friend are fighting and both of them are depressed lmfao and one of them is lashing out and yk hurt people hurt people lmfao and all that shit and the other one is different and it s weird and seems to have given up and i m worried and it s self sabotaging of myself to want to help them but is it bad to do that and every time i try to help someone i end up neglecting myself and ik that it will probably happen again btu do i even care anymore i ve always wanted to be the best i ve always had to be the best i had to be perfect but now idk i just don t care if i m mediocre if i don t get everything right and that d be good actually lmfao like being more self forgiving but no i think i m just depressed like i ve always been but shit idk everything s piling up and i m scared and i want a way out and the way out that i thought i had doesn t seem to be working so god idk sometimes i just want to pop some pill and just fucking die wouldn t that be better like sure some people care about me here but they d get over it right haha look at me i just don t care anymore it s so weird how much i ve changed i used to hate the idea of suicide because everyone who loved me would be hurt but now they d just get over it wouldn t they lmfao i m overdramatic sorry this post is all over the place

when i female wa a very young kid i wa exposed to unrestricted internet access i watched a lot of porn and i recently remembered at time i would watch bestiality and animal mating i wa young and didnt know what i wa watching i didnt know what the feeling i wa having were i remember once i tried to get my dog to lick me when i wa it didnt happen because thank god i realized how weird it wa and stopped before anything happened im now and not attracted to animal at all im scared that maybe i wa when i wa young but i wonder maybe i wasnt attracted to them just curious to sex of all kind because i wasnt aware of it at the time im experiencing suicidal thought and so worried i should kill myself do you think i should kill myself am i overreacting im desperate for advice and reassurance but if i dont deserve reassurance go ahead and tell me how disgusting a human i am

sometimes when i start to fall asleep it s like i get trapped in my dream and can not wake up the dream are usually a very uncomfortable or weird situation sometimes even terrifying i normally feel dizzy and disoriented in the dream once im finally able to wake up im out of breath and panicking im not sure what to make of these event but it mess with my sleep when it occurs i can t fall asleep for a while until i calm my brain down

hello tuesday hope your better than i think won t tweet for a few hour later

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being border restricted victim day by day we getting engulfed in frustration depression suicidal attempt and much more that we can t express in word depression fmwangyisaveindianstudents takeusbacktochina

month almost of being chronically unwell and not the same person because of shithead fucking parent forced me to go back on a medication that didn t help nobody cared i wa lulled into thinking it could never do something like this to me no positive covid test no positive test for other virus like lyme i guess lexapro just decided to ruin my life for whatever reason i m not linking my story for the millionth fucking time i m this is my life fuck this i can t even cry because the medication fucked my brain up so badly

i feel unloved dropped tweeter

just threw up all over the bathroom not fun

kal penn most confusing hour of my life

razzberrie wha so now it gb yay haha no more laggy computer but my mba can not upgrade

to preface i would like to apologize in advance for any posting informality this is my first reddit post i just graduated university in may of 0 and received a job at a global digital marketing agency agency life a a first job wa too emotionally taxing for my well being and gave me extremely bad performance anxiety i quit this job right before the start of 0 and have been looking for a job since i briefly had a job in february of 0 however a close friend of mine offed himself and i wa fired for taking time off to grieve due to this i started taking prozac and visiting a therapist once a week thing were going fine until i decided to drink on prozac one night and have a psychotic episode this episode caused me to get extremely aggressive towards my roommate for no reason i wa running down a list of accusation some true and some untrue however my girlfriend worried for the safety of my roommate decided to slap me in hope to end the episode terrible idea i know amp we have no history of domestic abuse this lead me into a meltdown where i called the cop trying to get her arrested for assault along with spewing false detail of thing that i wa hallucinating the cop soon realized i wa having an episode and luckily didn t press charge and talked me somewhat down from being aggressive once they left i packed up every item i own and drove hour to my family s house i don t remember anything until i wa almost finished packing my stuff i severely hurt my roommate and girlfriend i don t think about coming back because of how overwhelming the guilt will feel i m not sure what i should do and my brain is focusing on the permanent solution i guess the reason for this post is to ask for any advice or tip i didn t want to drone on regarding other incident so i ll leave a list below of what s happened in the past year cut off abusive parent experienced a few other meltdown due to work school stress lost a ton of friend due to self isolation took too many psychedelics which ha given me bad general anxiety wa arrested and impulsively moved halfway around the u before i wa ready to life for the past year ha gone continuously downhill for me i can t realistically see a way out of this

my bf s ex is now his best friend there like sibling according to them and they love each other like family i m a person that can t handle change well at all they use to hate each other and that wa what i wa use to they became best friend and i try so hard to deal with it and be her friend and accept it but it s so hard for me i ve been trying for month eventually tonight she got in a predicament and i helped her bf get her and calm her down i feel like maybe i m accepting her more and friendship more but this relief feeling want me to k ll myself even more what is this i m so confused i thought having good relationship would make you want to stay more

myapplestuff sadly we can t turn back time we have to help to re build everything amp give those poor family much love

arisan no free day for you

stephenkruiser i m so sorry to hear about your dog wishing you happier day to come

is at beso in hollywood so tired

mtee w deolfc mizzzidc if the lack of respect for some sth serious like abuse then yes but not angry your mother wore your sneaker your sibling don t borrow y alls shoe amp necklace without asking first just to start posting on twitter amp cry depression if sb forgets this one s charger nkor

happy for coach stringer hof c o 009 now if i can only finish my term paper on her

theekween heart break trauma anxiety depression pain of losing a loved one when u have witnessed something traumatic thelmasherbs

so i started having suicidal thought in april of last year and they lasted until around november in october i started hanging out with a girl and we started becoming good friend not romantic just friendship my mental health started getting a lot better after a couple month of friendship with her and it s kept getting better ever since a few day ago i made a passive aggressive comment that really upset her she won t text me back now i ve tried apologizing and trying to make thing right with her but i haven t heard back from her i m afraid i ve ruined this friendship forever and now my suicidal thought are back for the first time since last year i always hurt the people that i care about and i hate myself so much that i do this

everyday i want to km but can t i ve even stood on the edge of a building ready to jump but don t how can i summon the courage to actually go through with it i hate living i hate the idea of having to do a 9 until i m 0 or 0 and have 0 0 year of limited freedom my ex broke up with me she say she doesn t have the energy to hang out with me anymore i have nothing to live for how do i just go through with it and take that dirt nap i m sure none of you can give advice on how to actually go through with it but idk maybe i just need to vent maybe i m hoping someone will give me advice i don t know what i m doing with this post

so i ve been working really hard this last year on overcoming mdd agoraphobia and social issue over the last year i ve gone from making it out of the house for hour a month long enough to go to the doctor and grocery shopping to managing 0 hour a week i m still working up to doing thing on successive day it usually take a day or so to recover otherwise thing start getting rough but it s significantly better than before not advocating this approach it s what worked for me and may not work for others i had a lot of sensitivity to what wa being prescribed and it wa causing more harm than good talk with a professional before doing anything medication related part of what seemed to help wa getting away from medication over year we tried or so different thing and it just didn t work well now the hardest thing i do is caffeine and multivitamin there is a noticable difference in energy level and depression if i go more than a few day without vitamin so if you aren t taking any you may want to look into them i had been pushing thing the last couple month and wa starting to have burnout issue it wa hard not to a i felt like i wa starting to break through thing i m working at a different approach now just going until i start to feel uncomfortable and stopping if it s feasible rather than pushing until i have a full panic episode i m not getting a much done every day but so far i m starting each day more consistently it a little difficult stopping when i feel like i can keep going but i m hopeful that the better consistency will be more productive in the long term a bad a thing were a couple year ago to where they are now give me hope for others too i wa going to bed praying for death and cursing every morning i woke up i have hope and have truly started to love myself if you re going through a hard time thing can get better love you all take care and be well

depression is feeling somewhat okay throughout the day when you re around other people or out in public but the minute you re on your own and there s no one else around it feel like some dark shadow is just looming over you and weighing down on your shoulder

i nearly spoiled myself for house did just a teeny bit saw a name but then it went away via link i won t be terribly surprised now

tuesday is a raining day again

what do you say when you re told it get better with time it s been the heaviest thing to do when it come to holding myself up i had a hard 0 0 lost my brother best friend and stepdad to suicide and overdose i thought i wa ok i wa so wrong wound up losing my job then my wife decided that she wa better off with me she is probably right so all of 0 i m loosing everyone and every thing spouse life we haven t spoke in over a year iv tried to she is idk i try so hard to move forward though i m not getting anywhere i want to die i can t find the right answer to evolving and being able to engage with life it s been over a year she s great amp thriving i try to do myself in last saturday i tried to leave the car running in my garage and just drift away i couldn t even die right my car ran out a gas all i got wa a head ache and a lot deeper into my pit i ve been looking at and repositioning m pistal hopefully i can get down to business with it soon i know it s better if i do i m worth more in insurance than in life experience why can t i be good at this why am i abandoned in my darkest point they say give it time it s gon na be ok it s a lie time pass for them and i watch it just go by so i say goodbye and if i cross your mind later on know i foght until i couldn t the war in me is to much so it s me i choose my end instead of being this way or loosing touch and hurting someone who ha a good future

i am mexican and i speak spanish i am using google translator to avoid any error i m and i don t have social anxiety but i do have anxiety disorder and although i know that there is nothing that can harm me physically or cause something serious since i already checked my sadness and the thought that i will never get over it i get tired and i feel that if i sleep or relax i can even die of a heart attack this is the first time i post something on reddit but i think this group can help me

feel like i m stuck in a rut waiting to hear back from school is killing me also decided to take a break from wow for awhile

right got a stinking headache but i need to run i m not a happy bunny

i m starting to lose hope i feel like i m on auto pilot i m not living i m existing

zoeaimee i m trying to research some dude for my english assignment that is due tomorrow and my internet keep freezing and won t load

i ve just been so overwhelmed lately i d love a break for once in my life i m not asking for much but at this point it seems like only bad thing happen to me i even lost my two only friend a few month ago and now i m all alone again

thought this being a day week would make tuesday more bearable i wa wrong

damn it i still can t find a decent sized photo

we play the game of love to avoid depression

ha anyone dealt with tight throat shortness of breath for multiple week i ve been short of breath for almost week now i just got prescribed escitalopram and this is my first time taking medicine for anxiety i need insight if this feeling will go away soon thanks guy

yeah i know it s pretty weird but i ve been experiencing this one since last night i had trouble breathing but the right side seems fine felt like the left side wa the culprit had a tough time drifting to sleep

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my habit is having to check on my betta fish and make sure he is doing ok before i go to sleep i prompt him to swim up to me and flare stick his gill out it s how bettas express emotion before i can sleep

for the past week or so i ve been what i can best describe a lonely maybe even despondent i ve been trying to find way to keep myself from having that hole in my chest form again but it keep happening it s so familiar and safe yet it seems to make me feel like i ll forever be alone and dead every memory of my childhood ha been flooding my brain i want it to stop i hate reliving those memory my body feel like it s caked in slime no matter how many time i shower and try to scrub away the feeling of hand on me i can t get them off me i just want them to stop touching me i don t know why i m feeling this way either i saw my friend i ve actually been trying to take care of myself but this feeling keep coming back and pulling down to a bottomless pit of hell i really want to feel better again not like this

of this sub i really wish all that post on this sub could just find the peace they are looking for but it seems like it just talking to a wall a lot of post have no response so why post is it to get it out in writing looking for other opinion wanting someone to say hey you are not worthless because i like everyone else here that read these post is struggling with my demon do ordinary people read these post and get a chuckle out of them i dont have the answer if i did i would share with everyone here so i apologize this wa a rant and more question

study group extraordinare about to leave campus some of tort outline finished good thing but sleepy a h will be back am

mizzzidc any idea why u have depression das it

idk if i need to but putting a big fat trigger warning here for ed general bad thought and pedophilia a well a the fact that this is basically a long post complaining about everything wrong with my life lol i don t see the point of trying to tell myself that it ll get better when i know that the next few month will be so much worse than now i don t have any reason to try to keep myself from ending it when my body is already dying much quicker then i d like and i don t have the motivation or the purpose to tell anyone how bad everything s gotten cant forget the fact i am autistic trans gay and basically everything else that i won t ever get accepted or treated right for lol i don t hate myself i don t even see myself a a person i know i have delusion about myself that i don t feel comfortable sharing even though i m comfortable sharing literally every other problem i have but i hate that i wa born in general i don t think i should have been born at all especially since i wa born a fucking girl being trans is the worst fucking thing to come out of being alive i would give every failing organ in my body just to have been born a man i can t come out to anyone in person i wouldn t be accepted by the majority of people i know anyway because i won t ever be taken seriously a a man no one regardless of who i meet will ever see me a a real man and that hurt more than anything people might start using he him when they feel like doing so but since they ll still see me a a girl anyways i don t see the point sometimes i think of growing my hair back out throwing on a dress and pretending that i m comfortable with being a girl because part of me think that i could come to live with it in time sometimes i consider finding someone twice my age online just to give me fake validation because it ll be much more than i ll ever get in person i know it not healthy but neither am i i want the worst for myself because it ll make me feel temporarily better since we re already practically trauma dumping might a well mention that i ve been targeted by older men my whole life since i wa i ve been flirted with proposed to and had weird sexual comment thrown at me by adult all whilst my very own mother would watch and laugh never thinking to tell them to stop i mean she s never been any better considering that she is by far the one person who s made my life the worst it can be but i live with her and will do for at least the next few year so it s not like i can do anything about it i m only who know maybe this shit is normal and i should just suck it up and deal with it i could go into depth about how my mother ha fuelled my body issue and my eating disorder s how she s blatantly ignored the sign of autism i displayed from birth and now make fun of me get angry at me for and let me get severely underweight at a very young age because i couldn t handle any food texture and still put it down to me just being picky having an eating disorder might actually kill me before i kill myself haven t lost any weight from it but have basically lost everything else my heart is faring the worst it s absolutely terrifying feeling it malfunction but for some reason i can t tell anyone how bad it s actually gotten i go to the doctor occasionally and they know there s at least thing wrong with my heart but they don t take it seriously unless i experience symptom which i do severely at that but i haven t told anyone and now i have to face the consequence for it s been getting so much worse in the last few month granted i haven t had another almost heart attack since middle of last year i had every heart attack symptom at once i broke out into a cold sweat in my bathroom and felt the worst anxiety i ve ever felt my vision started to go static and fade i wa practically holding onto my heart and i ve never felt so much like i wa going to die not even after i overdosed but i ve watched my heart rate drop to 0 on multiple occasion and seen it go way above 0 after just walking up some stair most night i sleep le than hour because every time i ve tried to sleep ive been worried that my heart will just give out and i won t wake up for some reason i can stomach killing myself but i can t handle not dying from my own hand i don t know what i want out of this empty reassurance someone to tell me i m not being unreasonable maybe i just want people to relate i think more than anything though i just want someone to talk to not even about the bad shit just someone to engage with and tell about my hyperfixations someone who won t just ignore me and most of all i want a friend i don t think i ll get that here i don t expect to nor do i really think it s fair i don t want to live anymore and i know that if i reach i ll end up ruining my life one way or another i don t care what happens to me anymore because it ll just get worse anyway if you ve read this far sorry for wasting your time drink some water or smth tldr im suffering and i have absolutely no outlet or the help i need

i m starting to think i m probably suicidal but i don t really notice it if that make any sense i do thing like overdose on medication i say it s to get high but honestly i don t think that s my intention anymore i feel like i just don t give a shit about my life i fried my brain smoking weed and had a psychotic break and my therapist implies that i m stupid i hate myself and i just want to fucking off myself once and for all who know i might be going insane and i just don t give a shit anymore my life feel like trash even though i had every opportunity in the world to improve myself i feel like a complete failure and and idiot that deserves death i just don t care i don t give a shit i never did and i never will

i had plan for the future big plan they don t exist anymore a relatively recent assault took them from me the assault also took away my ability to enjoy being out of my house the thing that once made me happy no longer do i can t take care of myself i m on med but they don t help i get up and go through the motion but on the inside i am dying i am just a shell of who i once wa what s even the point why am i still trying

is cry inside please oh please let it rain so warm

featherinair call me back

i had to return a phone call from last week on an anxiety inducing topic i already have problem with talking on the phone i thought i d do it first thing in the morning and get on with my work but of course i had to leave voicemail and now i m waiting for the call back and i can t think about anything else i m going to take an ativan for the first time in about a month i m like a deer in the headlight at present

so far i have on all my site put together most of them were me checking out the update i made

is really bored and really sleepy and mad she can t find a custom lanyard maker that wont make me buy 000000 minimum

im recently got fired from my job unfairly that i absolutely loved i ve spent the last month trying to apply for job but only wanting to apply to thing that sparked my interest which were slim to none i applied to position with my favourite clothing company and wa really excited about the opportunity and after over a month of interview i have been turned down for both they say that my skill and qualification dont align with the job however if anything im extremely qualified maybe over qualified for both i ve been having a really hard time mentally recently and this is the cherry on top i went to school for fashion and only got a diploma i dont know what to do from here im feeling extremely discouraged and down about myself almost like im literally not good enough for anything it feel like my life is going no where ill live at home with my parent forever and im just gon na rot away i really dont know what to do i seriously feel like im going no where in life im not qualified for anything really in my field they all require diploma do i just work random job for the rest of my life and feel even worse just so i can have some sort of income

i m waiting for a parcel and it s just not arriving argh hurry up hurry up

i m in one of those day when i really just want to work from home crap

mizzzidc your mum for that matter irrespective of the past doesn t worth this shame you brought upon her by pasting the screenshot i wish you a quick healing process from your depression don t forget that an addidas sneaker shouldn t worth more than an 00

i hate converting movie just to put em on my itouch

good god they ruined my belly button

well i m going to bed early i wish i could sleep in tomorrow

amyserrata he wrote most of the album but ironically the single he did not write

i m currently trying to go no contact with narcissistic family it s so hard to do because i have younger sibling who i can t contact or help at all parent are using them a leverage against me i don t have their landline blocked because that s the only way my sibling can reach me if need be so once every few month i receive a call from my father love bombing me i feel like i m going crazy i have so much guilt disappointment anger and more i ve been trying all week to get into therapy but my insurance is being a po and every place that supposedly is in network turn out not to be the only thing keeping me going is knowing i need to be better to help my sibling and staying strong for my bf and his family they are all i have which kill me i have no family no substantial friend i feel so alone and like no one is willing to work with me to help i m trying to not get suicidal or self harm but i m on the verge of having a mental breakdown unless something give

it nemesis

dale wood i love uni coffee bet you won t get this one ilpc oh p uni tomorrow pick u up at p 000 word assignment arg

i have this constant thought hanging over my head that at all time somehow i m not using my time wisely regardless of what it is if i m taking a relaxing bath to calm my nerve i think about how i could be doing something even more fun or exciting and this task is not worth the time i m spending on it i often have morning where i find myself unable to fall back asleep even if i m awake way earlier than i need to be for work plan that day lamenting how i am or am not using that time to my best advantage it make it so hard to enjoy my day off or the time i don t spend occupied with something sometimes my day off are stressful the most at the very end when i reflect back on all the thing i didn t do but should have done even if that s total nonsense to a clearer headed me there s nothing i have to do on a day off i m sitting here right this second looking at the clock over and over thinking i wasted the last 0 minute watching youtube video when i could ve been playing video game but when i play video game instead i feel bad about not having watched a movie or new tv show instead it s so maddening ha anyone found a way to manage this constant sense of impatience

waitin the theory test centre open

it s and i ve been sitting around barely watching i m not there i really wanted to see that movie but i keep getting distracted

these few day my mother ha been telling me how much of a disappointment i am and i totally agree with her i only bring bad energy in the house and i always mess something up for the year i ve been alive i haven t made positive impact on my mother life or society i wan na die

working at home

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i m been feeling useless my anxiety increase everyday i overthink so much i am overwhelmed almost every day no enjoyment in small thing always accepting what is not good or best for me i ve lost interest in doing anything i m such an obstacle to every person around me i want to die badly i want a their life without me i want them to forget me so much that they don t know me i want to push people away i ve only been burdening them i want to give my life to someone who still want to live i ve been feeling like this since highschool this actually begin since i wa a child i wa never afraid to die it only became much worst since year ago i ve seen many death elder and young one two of my elementary classmate die at early age that i want to trade my life badly but i am lucky that i have not been feeling regret ever since childhood i m such a complicated person please don t try to understand me only after reading this post like i said i m such a complicated person i m only writing this stuff because i want to but what give people don t actually understand this kind of mindset it s not like they care i really want to disappear i really want to die just this one simple request that can never be given to me i guess i just have to make it happen

couple of mt text didn t arrive here

dein depression

off to town forgot to charge my phone so don t think it will last all day

i ve given up

today i wa prescribed xanax and celexa for my depression and anxiety i have major anxiety about taking pill the side effect freak me out especially when it come to mental medication i ve took zoloft in the pas for a couple day and it freak me out with suicidal thought very angry and ticked off i m scared this might happen again i m so lost on what to do i really need the help but scared of the help

i have serious insomnia and messed up hour and anxiety i ve been given hydroxyzine in 0mg and mg for sleep and only x 0 mg xanax per month for anxiety a lot of the reason i can t just sleep is anxiety 0mg of hydroxyzine doesn t seem to work on me anymore mg knocked me out but i woke up extremely groggy with a fast heart rate and these effect lasted the rest of the day it feel horrible i could take the xanax but i m limited to tab a month it s fine for me anxiety wise i just feel chill with it but i ve heard valium might be better for sleep faster effect and last longer too i m wondering whether i should ask my psychiatrist to let me try valium instead but i have a feeling she will limit me to tab a month a well exceedingly strict rule for benzos here ha anyone tried both valium and xanax what wa the difference for you should i even give the hydroxyzine another try if so in what dosage

heidimontag just got done watching the hill loved it excited for the next episode and im sad this is the last season

adreamforsteph ok house wa sad

this trolley ha up packed in like sardine padre game and they remove a car good call mt

so whether it is my phone or a phone from some youtube video it doe not matter whenever i hear a phone ring that ha that weird vibration sound or when alarm clock vibrates it really get me feeling uneasy to the point that it bother me very very much do any of you know what it may be

justagirl 9 that s great about your license wish you d got the rest of it back

site load rising again increased my capacity but it s going up still

this is nothing new for me and it doesn t really have a chance to come out now because i ve been out of school for about four year and i don t really go out in public much at all but from elementary school to high school i think it even happened when i wa attempting college too when walking down stair my leg would get so stiff that it wa impossible to walk down the stair properly and i wa always scared that everyone could see how my leg were bugging out like that and it made me even more anxious even if no one wa in the stairwell with me or even just one other person it would happen one time i got a friend he wa and i m to carry me down the stair because my leg were just not having it also all my life i have day where i felt like i wa just floaty and floating outside of my body i also felt like whenever i felt this way something bad would happen to me or someone else this feeling last all day and maybe even until the next day i don t know what this is i know other people have this too so could you tell me what it is also also several time a day i ll get really nervous and my heart will feel like it jumped and i ll have a scared feeling for a few second today i even had a weird small pain in my stomach that went a long with it but went away some second after my heart jumped and the scared feeling went away the tummy pain ha never happened before also also also i sometimes wake up feeling really nervous and scared even though nothing ha happened sorry for this really long post i tried to space it out so it would be a le intimidating big wall of text

twilight didn t come yesterday finger crossed for today

i recently lost a family member that i knew and met i ve only lost so far in this same criterion i ve been not doing so well even before any of that i feel like i m on autopilot daily i feel empty and nothing brings me joy even the thing i used to love and be passionate about i have a hard time communicating anything to anyone because all i want to do is be quiet and pas through people life a an invisible specter aimlessly living to survive and be away from everyone even the one that want to be in my life i have trouble sleeping at night drinking make me worse smoking only amplifies my anxiety and existential crisis meditating is useless now and i have no way to cope with what i m feeling have been feeling for the past few year it s easier for me to type thing out than it is to say them out loud i find myself losing my mind in work and zoning out while staring at my wall on a daily basis doe anyone have any advice for what i m dealing with and how to manage some of this i m not one to normally ask for help but at this point i m willing to try anything to get away from this darkness that haunt my life

i don t want to study i want to go shopping instead

muzzzza ur a bad a kateedwards

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so i m om an anti depressant and i feel it work somewhat i ve tried many others that just don t i ll be ok for a while just ok not cured or anything then ill hit these pit where i can t find joy in anything not even doing stuff with my kid like i just wan na lay in bed all day type of depression and idk what to do i do struggle with substance abuse and i know that s a big part in it i just didn t wan na get too into detail about it here i m so stuck i feel like i m in a funk and just wan na get out i ve struggled with substance abuse for a few year now which ha just worsened my depression honestly

i don t like these late start night shift coupled with it being bloody light outside my window when i m meant to be going to sleep

i need some help badly i suffer too much my depression ha gone from a depression i wa able to function on i wa a everyday gym user ate well slept well grade were alright now my depression is horrific i tried the gym the other day and saw myself in the mirror and wanted to pick up a weight and smash my head in i don t eat i don t sleep i ve lost weight badly my hair is always ridiculed someone always go out of there way to speak to me or about me leave me alone i would bet money if you ask my couple of friend and my family doe he have depression they would say no way he s happy i m dying inside suicidal thought used to be a comforting thing for me whenever something bad happened i said i won t be here so it won t matter now it s getting to the point where it seems like my only solution i m such a gentle great soul why doe my brain treat me like a piece of dirt why doe my brain force me to thrive to look perfect i ve resorted to self harm i ve done it twice a month or two ago and it felt great i cut up my thigh badly i ve tried to not make that a habit tho i m just a year old kid how tf am i giving up already on life my beautiful parent and family and pet and i choose to be a disgusting loser i wish i didn t have such a amazing family so i didn t feel guilty i know this is long and i know people won t read this on a stupid reddit page but i had to vent my main reason for depression are body dysmorphia worst part and most crippling lack of social life fear of driving while everyone else doe lack of aspiration don t know what i m doing for college don t have a career choice lack of attention from opposite sex least painful one but it definitely hurt badly i ve never told a single person about depression can someone save my life

andygaming une seule issue changer il n y aura probablement aucune volution de carri re de plus tu risque de tomber en d pression

i am pretty sure i have a porn addiction in particular i find myself drawn to the casting type video my therapist and i have discussed that seeing amateur and novel stimulus is sexually stimulating especially for someone who ha searched for porn all their life i d like to think that i am not hurting anyone besides myself in consuming this porn but i experience urge to watch girlsdoporn if you are not familiar many girl within this casting channel were coerced into filming and were essentially assaulted on screen i know morally that i should not watch these video and i always am able to stop myself but i am just so so ashamed that i have to seek validation on google is it wrong to watch gdp in order to stop myself to me it feel a though i need google to reaffirm my moral i just feel so weak when i am horny and after i am horny i just feel this terrible guilt am i a horrible person who view woman a nothing a sexual object am i so far removed from the concept of empathy that seeing woman possibly being assaulted is le important than satisfying my sexual urge how do you all view this situation do i pose a threat to those around me i feel a terrible shame but these feeling seem to almost evaporate when i m in that mood therapy and med have helped but i need to kick this habit and i don t want to hurt anyone i also feel that future relationship would be ruined if they were to find out about my blatant disrespect for woman

completely wiped and reloaded the 900 lost all bbm contact going to bed sad

i attract awful people into my life because i myself am an awful person i m not oblivious to the fact that i m flawed i keep going back and forth on wether i should become a better person because everyone that ha ever done anything great wa actually a monster with sharp fang the duality of life in human consciousness often torment me and i always feel pulled in either direction causing me to have suicidal thought i try to be good people pick me apart and peel my scab i give into darkness and the universe reward me with earthly delight while my soul weeps the price is the concept of becoming a better person just used to keep u all docile i yearn to return to my eternal sleep but i have these idea that life is worth living simply because the other side is where we go when we do not dream nothing no thing even now i can not decide whether i want to live or die which just go to illustrate the main point of this post this life is a mess of confusion the emphasis on being a good person make me feel like shit for the person i am yet assimilation look to me like narcissistic delusion no good deed go unpunished the path to hell is paved with good intention is the only to bring true good into this world through evil fuck having a brain

i really wish i had not bought the camera le e that day when my 0 went dead i miss photographing little thing dslr is too bulky

i just doubt and am insecure about everything specifically my emotion a well a my time management and productivity for example i will feel tired then i ll think am i actually tired what doe tired even feel like am i just imagining and making this up i do this with every emotion including happiness and excitement it s ruined how i feel emotion i don t feel any of them anymore because i doubt them so much i just feel numb how can i start feeling emotion normally again and stop doubting them